Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
