if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
