Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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