I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
