I seem to have left my pride at pride
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
