he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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