How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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