i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
