Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
