My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize