And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
