I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You are a genius and a whore.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
