New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
