We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
