Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
