Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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