I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
