I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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