I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
