Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think your dad took our porno
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
