I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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