Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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