I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
