i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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