And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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