once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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