I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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