I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
