I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize