I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
