I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Small penises have feelings too.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize