Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Drake has all the answers
Lo siento on account of my penis...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
