Just mADE A PArabola og urine
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
