11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
