If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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