My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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