Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
