ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
