i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You need Xanax blowdarts
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
