ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
