He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
