Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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