Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
