You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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