some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
