I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize