I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
