just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
