You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
