Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
