do herpes really smell.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
