oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
