He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
