we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
