i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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