No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
