Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
