Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
one might say we're banned from that church
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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