stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
